...//the word to all who are a part

a bond...

ephesians 4:1-6 message

^1-3In light of all this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences.

^4-6You were all called to travel on the same road and in the same direction, so stay together, both outwardly and inwardly. You have one Master, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who rules over all, works through all, and is present in all. Everything you are and think and do is permeated with Oneness.

we are all united, in a bond together, for the greater good, the bigger picture...

...//bond: something that binds, fastens, confines or holds together | something that binds a person or persons to a certain circumstance or line of behavior | something, as an agreement or friendship, that unites individuals or peoples into a group; covenant

the greater picture is what God has called us to do...

not just as a team at t | z | m but as a body...

this is going to be one of the greatest moments in history...

a sending out, a launching of great men and women, trained in reconciliation, lit with a fire so deep that it's unquenchable...

the fire that refines and on the other side reflects the Glory of God...

how beautiful this is...

how amazing this will be...

a bond of unity, a bond of love...

...//sabbatical scriptures

1 peter 4:12-13

(the message)

Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.

(amplified)

Beloved, do not be amazed and bewildered at the fiery ordeal which is taking place to test your

quality, as though something strange (unusual and alien to you and your position) were befalling

you. But insofar as you are sharing Christ's sufferings, rejoice, so that when His glory [full of

radiance and splendor] is revealed, you may also rejoice with triumph [exultantly]

...//bottom line

i'm going through a moment in my life where it may seem crazy but God is all over this

i'm in the fire so that in the end, with glory just around the corner, He is exalted :)

...//butterfly

i've titled this "butterfly" because that's what i'll become after a year in a cocoon...

...what do i mean by this exactly?

...after much thought and discussion i've come to a mutual agreement with t | z | m

for me to have a future... i need to be healthy...

not just in body, but in mind and spirit too...

.... i've been sick

... for a long time

... ignoring the warning signs

...not tending to the mary

...working the martha to death

...and before the horse has been beaten to the ground, i'm gonna take a season to heal...

...in other words

... i'm coming off the road for a year

//it's not a bad thing at all

i could continue in the state that i'm in, but it would do me no good and by the time i am 30 i would be physically sick to the point where i could not minister at all...

i would be emotionally sick and spiritually sick to the point where it would be too late...

my priorities did not stay straight...

not to say that i've jumped into a world of sin, but i've been having an affair with myself...

like choosing me over God...

to the point where i want to do what i want to do and that's doing nothing at all...

... i don't want to be sick anymore

...i want to get that glean back in my eye where i'm so madly in love with Jesus, He's all you see

...you may not agree with that, but you only see the outside

...no one has seen the part in me that's been dying

...after all, if you're not growing, you're dying

and that's exactly where i'm at...

i haven't grown in a long time...

...sure there's been some growth, i've been involved in a world shaking revival ministry and no one can go to the places we've been in the Spirit and come out the same

...but it's time for my personal relationship to get fixed

i was reading John Maxwell's book

"Be A People Person"

last night and it hit me plain and simple...

the most important thing is my relationship with God...

then to take care of my family...

then ministry...

so this year...

i'm gonna take care of my relationship with God... get my priorities back in line

i'm gonna help my family...

then... ministry

it's a hard break... it's not easy to leave... but it's for the good...

lets put it this way

if i was a wounded quarterback and i keep throwing interceptions, not seeing my blindsides, ignoring the ones around me to protect me and my coach telling me what to fix, i'll injure myself to the point of hurting my career as a quarterback... but i have an awesome coach who sees that i need to take a season and let the injury heal correctly, go through some rehab to make my arm stronger than before and then come back strong, healed and ready for a longer career then Brett Farve...

...for me to have a future, i need a year to heal... get stronger... get some rehab... and come back

full

full of passion for Christ

so... that's the big news

that's the best news i could ever get...

i'm grateful to be working with a ministry that sees the blindsides, holds you accountable, and would rather hold on to me for the long haul by letting me go for a short time...

...i'm not leaving forever... i'm taking a selah... a pause and reflect on what God is saying...

this will be a good year

a great year...

...the best year of my life

...and when i come out of this cocoon... it's going to be the best time of our lives

i'll be the prettiest little butterfly you've ever seen :)

ha ha

so to all my friends in the tzm world... i'll be around... not as much... but i'm still here...

life is a marathon... not a sprint...

...and on that note

...ciao'

...right now// ...on my knees//

Psalm 51

1-3Generous in love—

God, give grace!

Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.

Scrub away my guilt,

soak out my sins in your laundry.

I know how bad I've been;

my sins are staring me down.

4-6 You're the One I've violated, and you've seen

it all, seen the full extent of my evil.

You have all the facts before you;

whatever you decide about me is fair.

I've been out of step with you for a long time,

in the wrong since before I was born.

What you're after is truth from the inside out.

Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

7-15 Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean,

scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.

Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,

set these once-broken bones to dancing.

Don't look too close for blemishes,

give me a clean bill of health.

God, make a fresh start in me,

shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.

Don't throw me out with the trash,

or fail to breathe holiness in me.

Bring me back from gray exile,

put a fresh wind in my sails!

Give me a job teaching rebels your ways

so the lost can find their way home.

Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,

and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.

Unbutton my lips, dear God;

I'll let loose with your praise.

16-17 Going through the motions doesn't please you,

a flawless performance is nothing to you.

I learned God-worship

when my pride was shattered.

Heart-shattered lives ready for love

don't for a moment escape God's notice.

18-19 Make "Bethany" the "one" you delight in,

repair "Bethany's" broken-down walls.

Then you'll get real worship from me,

acts of worship small and large,

Including all the prized "possessions

I can heave onto your altar! like my life..."

(The Message)

"changed by blogger for personalization"

30th Birthday Update #1

so i'm celebrating my 30th birthday today by hanging out with good friends Jeff and Michelle Tull and eating Taco Bell... my favorite... also, not on a good diet :)


speaking of diet... here's my first weigh in: 287


snap... it's all muscle... ha ha... no seriously, i've played a ton of sports and my thighs are like a rock and my calfs aren't as sculpted as they were when i was a catcher... so, really i'm strong...


but still fat :)

I'm turning 30

So i turn 30 years old on January 8th, 2011...
i know it's over a year away but it's a milestone in a person's life...

like they're finally old enough people take them seriously, like i'm starting to get somewhere...

so...

to honor this occasion i am going to celebrate it starting now :)


i have 14 months till the celebration and i'm taking advantage of it... big time


i've also decided that i'm finally going to get my butt together and lose weight. i refuse to be the same weight and size that i was 10 years ago... nods to me not really gaining a ton of weight for 10 years but bad on my part for not having the discipline to lose any either.

so on the 8th of every month starting today i'm going to do something for my 30th birthday ...and... weigh in.

it's going to be a long road ahead, and the lifestyle that i live isn't the kindest to people looking for some stability or consistency.


and because one of my love languages is words of encouragement, i'll need your help to get me through this. people can tell me all day long that it's going to take me being determined to do this and wanting to do this, but where are they during the times i don't want to do this, they aren't there reminding me that it's tough but i can do it...

i've also concluded that guys really aren't attracted to fat girls :) i'm almost 30 and still never had a boyfriend and never been on a date. when i tell people at churches this (cause they ask me if i'm single or if i have a boyfriend) they are shocked... even more so when i tell them i'm still a virgin. it's like that's unbelievable now a days.

so here it is... my life on a page... out there for the world to read


i'm turning 30... i'm fat... and i'm finally going to do something about it :)

...a new one...

well, i figured since everyone else in my family has a blog

i should have one too...

i've been told i'm a decent writer... so i'll give it a try

... there's something about writing that unlocks the creative side of my brain...


hopefully i can be creative


yeah


so, because i travel full time and i'm with people, i'll have plenty of stuff to draw from... there's probably a word people use when they have material to draw from, like "reservoir" or "supply" but i couldn't think of it in time to write it down...
that's okay, there's always the backspace button...

...but then, i would be able to correct myself in the arena that you're supposed to be the bluntest... the thought processes right? the "from the brain to the page" interstate, just go, ask for directions later, kinda thing... open... honest... vulnerable... oooooo, that might get scary


well, it's late according to my mother (i'm at home for another week and a half) and we have a busy day tomorrow, so i'm gonna go try to do a habitual right before bed time activity and then go to sleep...


ciao'
beth